Some common questions on Islam...

1) Why does Islam encourage the killing of its followers if they refuse to wear the hijab?

Because we hate hair. Don't show us hair, we won't show you knife, gun, or anything else.

2) Why does Islam encourage beating of women?

Because they don't cook.

3) Why does Islam promote violence and bloodshed?

In Islam, we believe that instead of a gorilla-like creature, we evolutionarily descended from werewolves. We crave blood occasionally. This applies for converts who are not born Islamicized.

4) Is Islam really a peaceful religion?

No. History shows that before Islam, more than 1400 years ago, there was no violence. Violence only started when Islam came.

5) But we don't want that here. Go back to your home country!

Will you buy me my fare? I got a lot of relatives down there that I'd love to visit. Unfortunately that country will call me a lame native (for paying the taxes, providing service, and contributing in many other ways to another country's affairs), and tell me to go back to that country, which is yours. But, bless you, I can definitely use vacations.

6) Why are Mozlimps ugly?

Sorry.

7) Why are you called that anyway?

Actually we're called Muslims, it is derived from...ahh forget it. Because most of us have a weird limp. Mozlimp. We're still trying to reach your species' levels with regards to evolution. You guys are so perfect in every way.

8) I like your movies. You know, the ones where you Islamicized Mozlimps dance together in rain, and some high-pitch girl shrills, and the guy dances like a chicken with epilepsy, and before you can put it all together, the scene changes and you are now on a mountain in a new outfit and still dancing.

Thank you.

9) How do you eat or drink with that black cloth on you!?

You ever notice the bulge from the side? That's the IV pole. Yeah.

10) What's with the dot on your forehead?

The dot on our forehead? The dot on--Oh! No that's--ahh forget it. It's the burn-in our women get due to excessive weapon-laser targeting there.

Update:

11) So I saw this Mozlimp who was skating and fell over and took down a white woman too.

On behalf of all Muslims, I would like to apologize. Islam does not condone such violence.

12) What is your opinion of the Danish cartoons?

Umm, to be honest, I only enjoy English cartoons like the Simpsons or Family Guy.

To be continued...possibly.