Emergency Room Story #1

Ah yes - the glitz and glamour that is the Emergency Room. I'm sure you've all seen it on TV - in it's various incarnations - from ER to House to Scrubs to Grey's Anatomy - the hospital is a place where doctors get to solve cool medical cases while simultaneously juggling their personal problems in between shots.

Well - contrary to popular belief - for the most part - doctors and nurses usually shuffle off the nitty gritty work related details to their subordinates - while they go about sipping their coffees and talking "SMAC" (Smart Medically Abbreviated Catchphrases).

Nurses especially take glee in passing off nausea inducing duties to newbies on the job. Well today was no exception for me - as my clinical rotation as a paramedic student landed me in ER. As usual - being the uppity go getter rookie that i am - i couldnt wait to jump in on some action. So when the nurses got a call that a patient was being admitted from the psych ward at a penitentiary - i immediately called dibs and waited in breathless anticipation.

Breathless being the keyword here

When the patient was finally wheeled in - everyone noticed - because the stench of something awful preceded him into the ER. Turns out my patient liked to eat his own feces during his spare time - in between clawing his eyes out and urinating himself to sleep.

And it showed.....Badly.

He was half naked, had crusty stuff all over himself - and his teeth was laced with dirt...or at least what looked like a mouthful of dry dirt...... Ofcourse i regretted this decision for the next 3 hours. My charge nurse, however, took advantage of me in ways i will never forget. I was immediately ordered to take his vital signs - while everyone else stayed a safe distance away (bout 2 metres). The security officers and Jail officials looked on in pity as i tried to get a blood pressure reading while he flapped his handcuffed hands in the air. Ofcourse having the head security guy tell me to watch out cause he was a crazy mofo didn't help either. After struggling with his blood pressure reading and other vital signs, my nurse gave me the pleasant duty of cleaning out his mouth.

I died a little bit inside.

Suffice to say - no one looked me in the eye after that - i think they all felt my pain in some form
or another. All in all - my day ended with me furiously scrubbing my skin red and burning my clothes at the nearest hippie bonfire.

The morale of the story you ask? Never call dibs on a psych patient....Ever...

Death of a blog

death /dɛθ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[deth] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism. Compare brain death.

2.	an instance of this: a death in the family; letters published after his death.

3.	the state of being dead: to lie still in death.

4.	extinction; destruction: It will mean the death of our hopes.

5.	manner of dying: a hero's death.

6.	(usually initial capital letter) the agent of death personified, usually represented as a man or a skeleton carrying a scythe. Compare Grim Reaper.

7.	Also called spiritual death. loss or absence of spiritual life.

8.	Christian Science. the false belief that life comes to an end.

9.	bloodshed or murder: Hitler was responsible for the death of millions.

10.	a cause or occasion of death: You'll be the death of me yet!

11.	Archaic. pestilence; plague. Compare Black Death.